Cycle no more

A cyclist gave up cycling today in an unprecedented move to do the right thing.  Cyclist Valerie Spoke was moved to act after reading comments in her local paper about cyclists. Overcome with shame, she realised for the good of humanity she should stop her selfish cycling behaviour and get a car.
Valerie said:
“I didn’t realise until today that my behaviour had a direct effect on other cyclists, so when I cycled on the pavement, it caused other completely blameless cyclists to be shouted at. Worst of all, when I forgot my lights last week it caused plans for a new cycle lane 4 miles away to be cancelled – because money cant be spent on cycle improvements until all cyclists behave.”
Valerie is not put off taking up motoring by issues such as parking, she said:
“I don’t have a parking space at home, but I don’t think that will matter. My neighbours will be fine with a bit of cheeky parking outside their house, and I can always park partially on the pavement where the road is quite narrow. At work you need a permit to park, which I wont be allowed because I only live 3 miles away, but there are lots of residential streets nearby so I should be ok.
One thing Valerie is looking forward to is shopping. she said:
“Until now, I have been cycling to the local shops, but shopping at an out of town centre could end up cheaper – and with the cost of fuel, I will have to make that sacrifice!
Local pedestrian, Ethel Bypass spoke of her concern that yet another car on the road will make the roads more dangerous for pedestrians, but Valerie urges people not to worry.
She said:
“I am a very cautious driver. really! Im not going to zoom off at junctions, I’m much more the sort to wait until I can be absolutely certain it is safe. If it takes a minute or so it is worth the wait – I am putting that sort of risky behaviour behind me.
“Pedestrians just need to travel safely. Responsible pedestrians wear bright florescent clothes in the day and reflective clothes at night, there is no excuse not to dress safely and keep alert, it's bad pedestrians wearing black that cause a bad name for all the rest.”
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