In an unprecedented move last night , a Bournemouth cliff dramatically threw itself into the sea in a bid to save the resorts seven miles of golden sand from foreign grains.
Sources close to the cliff said it has been complaining for some time, it reportedly said
“You look out at the sand replenishment schemes and think that should be me I should be the soft sand between peoples toes
“Instead locals and visitors get dredged sand from Poole harbour or even the Isle of Wight. Its not natural
“The promenade has stopped the erosion of my face, but in doing so it has eroded my destiny”
“I am the future of Bournemouth sand and nature is on my side. People of Bournemouth, you will walk on my golden grains this summer.”