pint of bitter commits suicide rather than be seen drunk by Boris

Filed under News Fuse, Potshots, Slider


A pint of bitter has unceremoniously thrown itself of Beachy Head, it was heard crying out, “You’ll not get me Boris” as it fell from the cliff top.

A pub landlord was reported as saying:

‘It is hardly surprising, these wine drinking, cheese snorters, keep coming into our pubs, pouring pints, having their picture taken and fucking off with the drinks still in the glasses. Any self respecting pint of real ale would take exception to being used as a xenophobic prop by an etonian tosspot.”

The pint of courage was found by a french pensioner on the Normandy coast, it has asked for asylum in France, where politicians use wine and cheese as photo ops and leave the beer to real people.