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Council pledges to protect itself against cycling epidemic

Filed under Archive, Bournemouth, Exploding News, Potshots

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Bosses at a local council have welcomed the prime ministers call to action on cycling today, pledging to take no action locally for as long as possible.

 

Places all over the UK such as the Yorkshire Dales aim to increase cycle commuting 6 fold by improving on and off road cycle routes, and increasing tourism to the region.

But chiefs in one town have said that cycling in medium sized conerbations is not really realistic.

A spokesperson said:

“I’m sure its very simple in Yorkshire, but We have up to two chines (slopes leading to the sea) in our town, it really is an uphill struggle.

Drivers are welcome to Bournemouth

Drivers are welcome to Bournemouth

“We support proper cyclists like Bradley Wiggings, but we need to concentrate on welcoming car drivers, thats why we have invested 76k in a big sign saying ‘welcome’ on the dual carriageway, to make car drivers feel welcome. After all, motorists spend more money, they have boots full of money. How much money can a cyclist carry? Hardly any probably.

“And you have to think about safety. Cycling is easier in other towns because it is safer. It is simply not safe here, everyone knows it is the most dangerous place to cycle outside london, if people have to cycle, they would be better cycling in the forest, or somewhere out of the way.
Those wanting to use their bike within The town can always dismount and push their bike on the pavement .

“Attitudes are also very different here. People are much friendlier up north. they are much more easygoing – everyone hates cyclists here. Improving things for cyclists could increase the hatred. What if a bad car driver started cycling to work then caused an accident? people don’t mind bad car driving, they are used to it, a bad cyclist could ruin it for everyone.”

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