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Top posh baby names for 2017 announced

Top posh baby names for 2017 announced

Celebrities have long been surprising us with unusual baby names, from Charlotte and George to Oliver and Olivia. But The Squib Report annual list of top ‘posh’ baby names has taken the quest to dizzy new heights, advising its readers on some of the more unusual titles that will make your little one seamlessly fit […]

Vaping craze causes smog – and it’s going to get worse

Vaping craze causes smog – and it’s going to get worse

Most of the UK has been hit by swathes of thick fog as the trend towards vaping hit new post Christmas highs with cloud chasers turning their voltage up to the max. The sweet smelling mist has caused low visibility across the South East, South West and Midlands with some areas hit more severely with […]

1 in 2 thought Brexit was a new cereal.

England tries to google it’s way out of brexit after realising vote was not a marketing campaign for a new cereal. Joe Bananas was quoted as saying, ‘we get so many of these offers in the post I just thought that the EU was a bit like nestle or something. I did wonder why so […]

pint of bitter commits suicide rather than be seen drunk by Boris

pint of bitter commits suicide rather than be seen drunk by Boris

A pint of bitter has unceremoniously thrown itself of Beachy Head, it was heard crying out, “You’ll not get me Boris” as it fell from the cliff top. A pub landlord was reported as saying: ‘It is hardly surprising, these wine drinking, cheese snorters, keep coming into our pubs, pouring pints, having their picture taken […]

Six months on: One in three households contain an uneaten boxed Serrano cured ham

Six months on: One in three households contain an uneaten boxed Serrano cured ham

Gathering dust on kitchen cupboards all over the country Serrano ham brought from budget supermarkets Lidl and Aldi at Christmas remains unopened as summer arrives. For tens of thousands of families, dreams of tripling their intake of cured ham go unrealised as the animal legs sit unopened in corners of kitchens or worse – under […]

“It wasn’t me” Shaggy to appear on Jeremy Kyle Show

“It wasn’t me” Shaggy to appear on Jeremy Kyle Show

The DJ who goes by the name ‘Shaggy’ will appear on the daytime TV show this week. In the year 2000 ‘shaggy’  was caught by his girlfriend having sex with the girl next door, but in spite of being caught in the act, he has continued to deny that it was even him to this […]

Brainless swarm in their thousands to Bournemouth Wheels festival

Brainless swarm in their thousands to Bournemouth Wheels festival

With the Bournemouth Wheels Festival just days away, boasting beach arena demonstrations from rally cars and fantastic military vehicles, as well as displays from the Army. Thousands of giant brainless ‘Barrel Jellyfish’ have been massing along the Dorset coast. It is not clear why the creatures, who are also spineless, would choose ‘the UK’s biggest wheels-themed family event with […]

Increasing numbers of hut settlers sighted at Mudeford

Increasing numbers of hut settlers sighted at Mudeford

The annual migration of hut settlers has started again this year as pairs of simple folk have been sighted hauling their few belongings to the popular Mudeford encampment. The settlers live in the most primitive conditions without basic sanitation, and with only rudimentary cooking facilities. They share a simple standpipe which provides cold running water and an austere brick […]

Fossils ready to leave Jurassic coast if off-shore windfarm goes ahead

Fossils ready to leave Jurassic coast if off-shore windfarm goes ahead

Fossils embedded in 95 miles of Jurassic Coast in England are likely to leave if a planned off-shore wind farm goes ahead it has emerged. The off-shore wind farm, due to be built 14.6 kilometres (or 9.1 miles) from Swanage, has angered the fossils who fear they may be able to see the wind turbines […]

Children disappointed by birthday trip to Reading Watch Shop

Children disappointed by birthday trip to Reading Watch Shop

A party of children were bitterly disappointed this weekend by a trip to the Reading Watch Shop.  Seven year old Jayden had begged is mum to take him to the all white theme park following an intensive advertising campaign over Christmas. His mum Stacey said: “Jayden was so exited about Watch Shop and begged us […]

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