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1 in 2 thought Brexit was a new cereal.

England tries to google it’s way out of brexit after realising vote was not a marketing campaign for a new cereal. Joe Bananas was quoted as saying, ‘we get so many of these offers in the post I just thought that the EU was a bit like nestle or something. I did wonder why so […]

pint of bitter commits suicide rather than be seen drunk by Boris

pint of bitter commits suicide rather than be seen drunk by Boris

A pint of bitter has unceremoniously thrown itself of Beachy Head, it was heard crying out, “You’ll not get me Boris” as it fell from the cliff top. A pub landlord was reported as saying: ‘It is hardly surprising, these wine drinking, cheese snorters, keep coming into our pubs, pouring pints, having their picture taken […]

Cliff throws itself into the sea in bid to keep sand local

Cliff throws itself into the sea in bid to keep sand local

In an unprecedented move last night , a Bournemouth cliff dramatically threw itself into the sea in a bid to save the resorts seven miles of golden sand from foreign grains. Sources close to the cliff said it has been complaining for some time, it reportedly said “You look out at the sand replenishment schemes […]

Clare Byam-Cook still talking despite specialist advice

Clare Byam-Cook still talking despite specialist advice

Many mothers have found that the benefits of listening to Claire Byam-Cook are ‘virtually negligible’, however the former midwife and self styled ‘breastfeeding specialist’ appeared on ‘This Morning’ yesterday and seems to have no plans to stop talking any time soon.

Tazerquest to offer all weather attraction

Tazerquest to offer all weather attraction

Fearless revellers will soon be able to try Bournemouth’s newest all weather attraction – ‘Tazerquest’ . The attraction, thought to be a first for the UK , provides fun for the whole family Whether 8 or 88 customers will love the adrenaline pumping exhilaration of stalking their opponents with the electroshock weapon sold by Taser International. […]

Council pledges to protect itself against cycling epidemic

Council pledges to protect itself against cycling epidemic

Is this true? Bosses at a local council have welcomed the prime ministers call to action on cycling today, pledging to take no action locally for as long as possible.   Places all over the UK such as the Yorkshire Dales aim to increase cycle commuting 6 fold by improving on and off road cycle […]

Tony Hadley was the best plane at Air Fest

Tony Hadley was the best plane at Air Fest

The best plane at the Bournemouth Air Festival was Tony Hadley say crowds who swarmed to Bournemouth beach for four days of plane themed entertainment. Air fanatics described the Hadly, who performed a 45 minute display, as ‘Gold’. The Hadley has been flying solo since 1992 after the rest of his display team broke away to […]

‘Park and fly’ planned for next year’s air show

‘Park and fly’ planned for next year’s air show

Revellers descending on the south coast for the 2015 Bournemouth Air Show will see traffic eased with an innovative ‘park and fly’ service. Tourists arriving by car will be diverted to a temporary airport in Redhill, where they will be able to park their car and beat the traffic queues. The new Redhill airport will […]

Loom Band Red Arrows

Loom Band Red Arrows

Don’t worry if you missed the Red Arrows display. Recently revealed as just as dangerous, this film re-enacts the manoeuvres using popular but deadly loom bands

Bournemouth submarine festival declared a success

Bournemouth submarine festival declared a success

The first Bournemouth submarine festival got off to a successful start according to town hall tourism bosses.   The three day festival which opened yesterday and continues throughout today and bank holiday Monday kicked off with a magnificent sub-aquatic display in Bournemouth’s Poole bay. The display by the ‘Upholder class diesel-electric hunter-killer display team’ potentially […]

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