Bournemouth_War_Festival_2015___Vulcan_Not_Attending
Home » Archives by category » News Fuse
Top posh baby names for 2017 announced

Top posh baby names for 2017 announced

Celebrities have long been surprising us with unusual baby names, from Charlotte and George to Oliver and Olivia. But The Squib Report annual list of top ‘posh’ baby names has taken the quest to dizzy new heights, advising its readers on some of the more unusual titles that will make your little one seamlessly fit […]

Vaping craze causes smog – and it’s going to get worse

Vaping craze causes smog – and it’s going to get worse

Most of the UK has been hit by swathes of thick fog as the trend towards vaping hit new post Christmas highs with cloud chasers turning their voltage up to the max. The sweet smelling mist has caused low visibility across the South East, South West and Midlands with some areas hit more severely with […]

Embarrassment for Bank of England as wrong file goes to print

Embarrassment for Bank of England as wrong file goes to print

There are red faces all over at the Royal Mint Drawing Department today as the wrong fonts have been printed on the new £5 notes. Money Artists commissioned by the Bank of England have admitted this evening that they forgot to outline the fonts before sending the note to print. As a result some fonts […]

1 in 2 thought Brexit was a new cereal.

England tries to google it’s way out of brexit after realising vote was not a marketing campaign for a new cereal. Joe Bananas was quoted as saying, ‘we get so many of these offers in the post I just thought that the EU was a bit like nestle or something. I did wonder why so […]

pint of bitter commits suicide rather than be seen drunk by Boris

pint of bitter commits suicide rather than be seen drunk by Boris

A pint of bitter has unceremoniously thrown itself of Beachy Head, it was heard crying out, “You’ll not get me Boris” as it fell from the cliff top. A pub landlord was reported as saying: ‘It is hardly surprising, these wine drinking, cheese snorters, keep coming into our pubs, pouring pints, having their picture taken […]

Holby City ‘Casualty’ department put in special measures

Holby City ‘Casualty’ department put in special measures

The Care Quality Commission (CQC) has slammed Holby City NHS Trust’s Accident and Emergency department for ‘dysfunctional management and procedural failures’ after an inspection which identified serious failures in quality of care. Inspectors reported that the management team presided over a ‘fantastical level of unprofessionalism with little evidence of process’, saying ‘department staff are more […]

Deafening sound of wind turbine blade manufacture marks the start of hell on earth.

Deafening sound of wind turbine blade manufacture marks the start of hell on earth.

Hundreds of thousands of people living in the south of England woke to find their ears bleeding this morning as the deafening sound of the manufacture of wind turbine blades started on the Isle of Wight. The blades which are being made from the loudest materials known to man cannot be handled without creating ear […]

“It wasn’t me” Shaggy to appear on Jeremy Kyle Show

“It wasn’t me” Shaggy to appear on Jeremy Kyle Show

The DJ who goes by the name ‘Shaggy’ will appear on the daytime TV show this week. In the year 2000 ‘shaggy’  was caught by his girlfriend having sex with the girl next door, but in spite of being caught in the act, he has continued to deny that it was even him to this […]

Brainless swarm in their thousands to Bournemouth Wheels festival

Brainless swarm in their thousands to Bournemouth Wheels festival

With the Bournemouth Wheels Festival just days away, boasting beach arena demonstrations from rally cars and fantastic military vehicles, as well as displays from the Army. Thousands of giant brainless ‘Barrel Jellyfish’ have been massing along the Dorset coast. It is not clear why the creatures, who are also spineless, would choose ‘the UK’s biggest wheels-themed family event with […]

Increasing numbers of hut settlers sighted at Mudeford

Increasing numbers of hut settlers sighted at Mudeford

The annual migration of hut settlers has started again this year as pairs of simple folk have been sighted hauling their few belongings to the popular Mudeford encampment. The settlers live in the most primitive conditions without basic sanitation, and with only rudimentary cooking facilities. They share a simple standpipe which provides cold running water and an austere brick […]

Page 1 of 3123