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Tories to announce new ‘Grammar Hospitals’ plan

Tories to announce new ‘Grammar Hospitals’ plan

New plans for ‘grammar hospitals’ are expected in the budget today in a plan to allow more freedom in the way hospitals are run. Theresa May made the announcement saying that this will “ensure that the best hospitals can offer the best treatment to the best people”. ‘The new grammar hospitals will select their patients […]

Top posh baby names for 2017 announced

Top posh baby names for 2017 announced

Celebrities have long been surprising us with unusual baby names, from Charlotte and George to Oliver and Olivia. But The Squib Report annual list of top ‘posh’ baby names has taken the quest to dizzy new heights, advising its readers on some of the more unusual titles that will make your little one seamlessly fit […]

Six months on: One in three households contain an uneaten boxed Serrano cured ham

Six months on: One in three households contain an uneaten boxed Serrano cured ham

Gathering dust on kitchen cupboards all over the country Serrano ham brought from budget supermarkets Lidl and Aldi at Christmas remains unopened as summer arrives. For tens of thousands of families, dreams of tripling their intake of cured ham go unrealised as the animal legs sit unopened in corners of kitchens or worse – under […]

Osborne plans to make all people academies by 2022.

Osborne plans to make all people academies by 2022.

Mr Osborne will announce today that people must either have converted to academy status themselves by 2020, or will be forced to two years later under sweeping new powers to be voted on in the Commons. Academy status was established under Tony Blair. Of more than 60 million people in England, around 5,000 are now […]

Children disappointed by birthday trip to Reading Watch Shop

Children disappointed by birthday trip to Reading Watch Shop

A party of children were bitterly disappointed this weekend by a trip to the Reading Watch Shop.  Seven year old Jayden had begged is mum to take him to the all white theme park following an intensive advertising campaign over Christmas. His mum Stacey said: “Jayden was so exited about Watch Shop and begged us […]

Middle Earth sees boom in plastic surgery

Middle Earth sees boom in plastic surgery

AT her clinic on Park Avenue, Middle Earth, Cosmetic surgeon Dr Dirok Sorh has seen increasing requests for procedures ranging from toeplasty and ear reconstruction to complete facial remodelling. Dr Dirok has been criticised for promoting unachievable goals of beauty, but she claims her cosmetic surgery centres give people confidence and in some cases can lead to a more active life. Take a look at our gallery and […]

Tazerquest to offer all weather attraction

Tazerquest to offer all weather attraction

Fearless revellers will soon be able to try Bournemouth’s newest all weather attraction – ‘Tazerquest’ . The attraction, thought to be a first for the UK , provides fun for the whole family Whether 8 or 88 customers will love the adrenaline pumping exhilaration of stalking their opponents with the electroshock weapon sold by Taser International. […]

Council pledges to protect itself against cycling epidemic

Council pledges to protect itself against cycling epidemic

Is this true? Bosses at a local council have welcomed the prime ministers call to action on cycling today, pledging to take no action locally for as long as possible.   Places all over the UK such as the Yorkshire Dales aim to increase cycle commuting 6 fold by improving on and off road cycle […]

Bournemouth submarine festival declared a success

Bournemouth submarine festival declared a success

The first Bournemouth submarine festival got off to a successful start according to town hall tourism bosses.   The three day festival which opened yesterday and continues throughout today and bank holiday Monday kicked off with a magnificent sub-aquatic display in Bournemouth’s Poole bay. The display by the ‘Upholder class diesel-electric hunter-killer display team’ potentially […]

Half the fun of satire to be ruined with ‘satire’ tag

Half the fun of satire to be ruined with ‘satire’ tag

Satire posted on Facebook is set to require a full explanation and to be tagged ‘satire’ in a move to make idiots feel like they are in on the joke it has been announced. The satire’ tag will allow all users to see that the joke is a joke and not something real, after users […]

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