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Tories to announce new ‘Grammar Hospitals’ plan

Tories to announce new ‘Grammar Hospitals’ plan

New plans for ‘grammar hospitals’ are expected in the budget today in a plan to allow more freedom in the way hospitals are run. Theresa May made the announcement saying that this will “ensure that the best hospitals can offer the best treatment to the best people”. ‘The new grammar hospitals will select their patients […]

Top posh baby names for 2017 announced

Top posh baby names for 2017 announced

Celebrities have long been surprising us with unusual baby names, from Charlotte and George to Oliver and Olivia. But The Squib Report annual list of top ‘posh’ baby names has taken the quest to dizzy new heights, advising its readers on some of the more unusual titles that will make your little one seamlessly fit […]

Vaping craze causes smog – and it’s going to get worse

Vaping craze causes smog – and it’s going to get worse

Most of the UK has been hit by swathes of thick fog as the trend towards vaping hit new post Christmas highs with cloud chasers turning their voltage up to the max. The sweet smelling mist has caused low visibility across the South East, South West and Midlands with some areas hit more severely with […]

Embarrassment for Bank of England as wrong file goes to print

Embarrassment for Bank of England as wrong file goes to print

There are red faces all over at the Royal Mint Drawing Department today as the wrong fonts have been printed on the new £5 notes. Money Artists commissioned by the Bank of England have admitted this evening that they forgot to outline the fonts before sending the note to print. As a result some fonts […]

Six months on: One in three households contain an uneaten boxed Serrano cured ham

Six months on: One in three households contain an uneaten boxed Serrano cured ham

Gathering dust on kitchen cupboards all over the country Serrano ham brought from budget supermarkets Lidl and Aldi at Christmas remains unopened as summer arrives. For tens of thousands of families, dreams of tripling their intake of cured ham go unrealised as the animal legs sit unopened in corners of kitchens or worse – under […]

Cliff throws itself into the sea in bid to keep sand local

Cliff throws itself into the sea in bid to keep sand local

In an unprecedented move last night , a Bournemouth cliff dramatically threw itself into the sea in a bid to save the resorts seven miles of golden sand from foreign grains. Sources close to the cliff said it has been complaining for some time, it reportedly said “You look out at the sand replenishment schemes […]

Holby City ‘Casualty’ department put in special measures

Holby City ‘Casualty’ department put in special measures

The Care Quality Commission (CQC) has slammed Holby City NHS Trust’s Accident and Emergency department for ‘dysfunctional management and procedural failures’ after an inspection which identified serious failures in quality of care. Inspectors reported that the management team presided over a ‘fantastical level of unprofessionalism with little evidence of process’, saying ‘department staff are more […]

Osborne plans to make all people academies by 2022.

Osborne plans to make all people academies by 2022.

Mr Osborne will announce today that people must either have converted to academy status themselves by 2020, or will be forced to two years later under sweeping new powers to be voted on in the Commons. Academy status was established under Tony Blair. Of more than 60 million people in England, around 5,000 are now […]

Deafening sound of wind turbine blade manufacture marks the start of hell on earth.

Deafening sound of wind turbine blade manufacture marks the start of hell on earth.

Hundreds of thousands of people living in the south of England woke to find their ears bleeding this morning as the deafening sound of the manufacture of wind turbine blades started on the Isle of Wight. The blades which are being made from the loudest materials known to man cannot be handled without creating ear […]

“It wasn’t me” Shaggy to appear on Jeremy Kyle Show

“It wasn’t me” Shaggy to appear on Jeremy Kyle Show

The DJ who goes by the name ‘Shaggy’ will appear on the daytime TV show this week. In the year 2000 ‘shaggy’  was caught by his girlfriend having sex with the girl next door, but in spite of being caught in the act, he has continued to deny that it was even him to this […]

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